Legal Guide
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Making a personal connection with your attorney is very helpful in order to reduce potential problems and personality conflicts throughout your divorce case.   It's better for effective communication.  It makes it easier to discuss your expectations for a potential outcome.  An attorney with strong personal skills provides more efficient explanation and a clearer legal picture of your case based on state laws and individual circumstances.  

Your attorney is not a therapist

This does not mean to look to your attorney to be a friend or therapist.  Instead you want someone with whom you can place a great deal of confidence.  She should know legal precedence as it relates closely to your case.  She should be able to provide legal advice and easily explain the possible outcomes and state statutes.  She should have experience with similar cases like yours.

Understand your attorney's duties and responsibilities

Before she takes your case, you should be sure you have a clear understanding of her role.  The expectations for each of you should be explained in order to make sure there is no significant grey area that may cause future delays, confusion or costly mistakes.   Good communication skills should be employed by both you and your legal representative/team.

While your attorney may not be able to take your calls immediately, she or her staff should return your call within a reasonable amount of time. Since most successful attorneys are usually very busy, it’s best to discuss her preferred method of communication in order to facilitate the most efficient and detailed reply.

Attorney problems

If issues arise throughout the case that put a strain on your relationship, it may be worth your time and money to regroup with your lawyer to re-establish your mutual goals to address any miscommunications and/or areas of the case that you feel are in need of her attention.

Be vested in the outcome, but cautious of emotions damaging it

When hiring an attorney, it's easy to be attracted to strong-willed, controlling personality types that you assume will demand the best settlement.  As the case unfolds, you may begin to regret hiring such a person as he/she may make it difficult to maintain your goals of the settlement throughout negotiations.

Let your attorney lead the legal dance in your divorce, but don’t be a wallflower. You should take a significant interest in every aspect of your case.   Your attorney will not have the emotional investment like you, which is usually good in getting you the best settlement for the least amount of time and fees.  However, your ties to this case are personal.  They affect your life, money, children and future, so act like it.   Don’t be bullied into accepting what you really don’t want. 

Conversely, don't let your heart make decisions your brain is more qualified to make.  Keep an open mind about the reasons your attorney may present you with some options that may not initially be to your liking.

Both spouses usually feel like they gave-in 

When you finally get to the end of the divorce process, don’t be surprised if you feel you have conceded more than you may have expected.  Many spouses walk away with feelings of disappointment related to the settlement and finality of their marriage.   It helps to have had a skilled and personable attorney that you trust provided the best legal representation possible regardless of the outcome.         


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