Should you downgrade Valentine's Day while going through a divorce?
Well...yes. During or following a divorce, Valentine's Day can be a holiday that can make you pretty sad. It's fine to participate with your family and friends with sweet treats, cards and the like. But don't let the day stress you out over lost love and shortage of a lover's attention. Need help? We have ideas to keep this dreadful day off your mind...
Tip #1
Don't make the mistake of buying anything for your ex or soon-to-be. Don't call, sweet talk, sleep with, eat with, hang with or anything with your ex or soon-to-be. It's over, don't let Valentine's Day pull you back in.
Tip #2
If you're separated and feeling lonely, don't let the day induce a "one night stand" or "stupid decision" that can cost you more in divorce court or make your life a living hell with your soon-to-be until the divorce is completed.
Tip #3
Don't start a pity party or seek attention from others because you don't have a Valentine. Such an attempt is just pitiful. Self-pity looks bad on anyone. Should you choose to do this, may you choke on your chocolates and know whoever bought them for you is thinking, "Sad. Sad. Sad."
Tip #4
Self-love is totally okay. You don't have to totally boycott the day. Be your own Valentine, but don't overdo it. Try something new, treat yourself to something or make it a day to celebrate a stronger, happier self. No matter what you do, keep it upbeat and lighthearted. Yes. You can indulge in some Valentine goodies and champagne too, but don't give the day more attention than your well-being. If attention to it only brings you sadness - then obviously do anything but celebrate.
Tip #5
When asked by others about your Valentine plans, keep the answer honest, positive and short. It's not an excuse to start a sad conversation about your current divorce. A day about love during a time in your life about breaking-up can bring about emotions that can bleed all over your lunch with friends, a family get together and office floor. Nobody likes a horror story around Valentine's Day. Sounds cold - but you'll thank us later.
Tip #6
When others talk about their awesome Valentine's Day and love of their life, it's totally okay to secretly hate them and know that half of all marriages end in divorce. Or you can let their joy and love make you a better person. Ugh!
Tip #7
If you start to feel sad, lonely or fat on this wonderful day, just know that it's one day out of the year (that's 18 waking hours out of 8,760 hours in a year) that you have to suffer. Now, go buy some cheap wine, a cozy blankie, a bucket of ice cream and binge your favorite show. This is a totally approved DMK "break" fest. You can work-out tomorrow or soon as only be defined by you. By "work-out" we mean get healthy, find a lover, have sex or whatever the hell you think it means.
Tip #8
Don't buy something you can't afford as a replacement for a Valentine's gift from your spouse or a lover. Seriously. Just don't. Do you really need something to commemorate this sad time and your sad self. Um. NO!
Tip #9
Celebrate the day with those in your life you love. Ignore the fact that you don't have a significant other, lover or "life". Those will reemerge soon! Make the day happy with your family and friends that will always be there 'til the very end. And, let it be known...this is not the very end. It's just the end of something that was in the way of your happiness.
Tip #10
Ignore our advice and anyone else's if it doesn't help. DMK will never tell you, "We told you so." We understand these things, because we have been through these things. Now from us to you...
♥ Just do your thing, do it your way and forget about your ex on Valentine's Day! And yes, it's a rhyme, in some ways a line, but will you be... our Valentine? ♥
Love,
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