Nearly every company-family has one or more black sheep. These people generally don't represent the spirit of the organization's employee body. However, make no mistake about it they may actually be company people but somehow just don't know how to play nice with others.
Do you know one or more co-workers that go out of their way to make your life a living hell!?
Describing the beast
You know the one. She's that person who just gets to you through, what seems like, intentional, annoying actions. She sends unnecessary memos/emails, she calls you out in front of your boss/coworkers/clients, she doesn't do her job - but has an opinion of how you should do yours. She's the one who pours the last cup of coffee and never EVER makes another pot!
Whatever it is, this person makes you consider leaving, transferring or losing your sh*t on a daily basis. You've had a couple close calls where you seriously responded to her email with what you really wanted to say in the worst way possible, but just couldn't push send. A monthly mortgage, car payment, your kid's tuition and life as you know it, may have been top reasons why deleting it made sense, even though every other reason on earth supported it.
You consider going to your boss again, but you know she's not going to do anything (except make sure she doesn't have to work directly with her herself).
Anyone who's worked with this difficult person feels the same, but to other company people she maintains a rather anti-social, stealth like demeanor (one where most don't know she's there until they're forced to take on a project with her or God forbid work with her on a daily basis).
Only then do other team members swing by your cubicle asking you what the hell is wrong with her?? Like you should know!? You're just the sorry sap that gets stuck working with her on project after project because the "powers that be" know you're the only one who doesn't have the time to swing by their office and ask, "what the hell is wrong with her?"
Could there be an answer?
So, the million-dollar question, "What is the best way to get up in the morning and not want to call in sick every single, d*mned day you have to work with this kind of person?"
And if there was one single answer that would solve anyone's problem, it would indeed be worth millions. The simple truth of the matter is that there are numerous variables that can lead to any number of exact answers.
However, there may be a few simple considerations that one could use in order to improve his/her happiness while working with one or more difficult individuals.
When considering problems with multiple individuals, focus only on one individual at a time. Otherwise, it's easy to become overwhelmed.
Improve productivity and happiness at work despite difficult co-workers
3 Easy Steps
Step 1. Understand People
Knowing the specific personality traits of the individual(s) at work can help you sharpen your communication skills.
Identifying the type of person you are dealing with helps. There are numerous personality identification tests out there and all of us may have numerous aspects to our personality that make us who we are, but basically, most people have a greater percentage of one of the four main personality types listed below.
Controller - This person values her ability to steer others according to her sense of righteousness. In many cases this person is of average to above average intelligence. She has less than average empathy for others but cares a great deal about results that may affect others and herself. She is often in positions of authority such as management, law enforcement, public service, etc.
Promoter - This person values her ability to sway others according to her agenda. Most often this person possesses above average intelligence and in the presence of others has a significantly high level of emotional intelligence. This person cares a great deal of what others think of her since it often is the basis of her financial, political and social gain. She is often in positions such as sales, politics or marketing. She is likely to be savvy with social platforms and be a social influencer.
Analyst - This person values her knowledge and intelligence for the purpose of forecasting, contributing, examining and verifying. This person almost always has a significantly higher than average intelligence, though most often a higher percentage of her knowledge being in a STEM related field with a lower percentage in personal communication and social skills. She is far less concerned with what others think as she is with facts, numbers and analytics as part of her duties and/or projects.
Supporter - This person values her aptitude for problem-solving, organization skills and experience to maintain her value as a vital resource to her organization. She is often less educated than others of her level of intelligence. She is often a rule follower and fearful of authority figures who could threaten her job. Most have a motherly personality and will go out of their way to help you while others tout very strong guidelines to keep you in line.
2. Adjust your thinking
Once you determine your co-worker's personality type, you will need to ascertain the best frame of mind in order to improve and maintain relations.
In many cases, this person will never become someone you like. But, upon evaluation of him/her and adjustments to your expectations and interactions, you will be on your way to improving your time working with this person and increase overall work performance.
e.g., Adjusting how you think is as simple as a glass half full or half empty. But, your life and problems are far more complicated than that. Let's face it, how you feel, what's in the glass and why you're drinking it matter. Are you thirsty? Is it cold, warm? Is it cold when it's supposed to be warm?
Like the variables in this example, all of the factors in your professional interactions are not necessarily within your control. However, maintaining a median when working with this person provides an opportunity for a better relationship and workday.
Make your interactions less of a power struggle. This doesn't mean giving up control, but be cautious about being drawn into discussions and debates that lead to adversarial communications.
Take the time to get to know the person when possible. This will give you a better perspective of why this person's personality is as you assessed. In some cases, while this person may still be very different from you, you may be able to maintain a better relationship while working together. In doing so, it will provide improved interpersonal skills.
When the person is completely unreasonable it's important not to place too much pressure on yourself to remedy the situation. Remember that in relationships and life too, some things are within your control and those people and situations that aren't should not be allowed to take control.
This isn't always easy, but it helps to have a good outside support structure such as friends, family or written journal to vent away your frustrations.
Avoid office gossip whenever possible. While it may seem perfectly appropriate to talk about this person given her reputation - avoiding conversations and communications with negative banter will help. Negativity in the workplace makes showing up for work even harder, especially when that negativity is about someone you directly work alongside.
3. Maintain a guideline of expectation
In many cases, this person will come up with new ways to get on your nerves even if you improve your relationship. Despite taking the personal approach of getting to understand the person, professional standards may be the only thing to rely upon.
When working directly with this person, let him/her know that you would like to establish procedures that will be helpful in maintaining assignments, deadlines and duties. You should have a template with suggestions but you both should complete the details together. This will vest both of you in the working terms as well as establish an overall plan for assignments or projects.
If the relationship is less formal, but you seem to have a difficult time establishing certain parameters that this person is to be responsible, the expectations can be as simple as a conversation. e.g., "I see you have moved our workorder bin from my desk to the conference table. The reason I keep it on my desk is so that I know when the orders come in and I can process them as soon as possible so that you and the other salespeople don't miss your deadlines. Unless you have a reason for doing so otherwise that would negate the importance of your deadlines, please keep the bin where it usually sits."
Good for any relationship
Getting to know someone, adjusting your own bias or opinions and making sure both individuals have a clear, mutually devised plan or expectation of work protocol provides for good relationship skills at work or home. In cases where two or more individuals struggle to work together these three easy steps can provide a foundation to maintain good, productive interactions regardless of their differences.
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