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Caution, this article might offend positive people. But, here it goes. 

On the basis of feeling "good" about your life, yourself and others it isn't uncommon to let in some negativity.  This article is purely for the nonscientific, judgmental, hater like me who just wants to call it like it is once-in-awhile.

Ok.  Hater is a bit strong.  That's not completely accurate.  I am more of a love-hate..r (does that sound right?  hmm... oh well).  

Here is the question..."Is the world going to hell?"  

"Hell no!"

But, it's only because I'm going to show you how it's okay to be negative as long as you keep enough positive, thus making you and the other millions or maybe billions of readers who read my article happier, healthier people and the world a better place!  Yada. Yada. Yada. 

Let's proceed.

Happiness

In some book somewhere (or maybe this site), I read that we generally need to outperform our negativity three-to-one with positive thoughts, behavior and activities in order to achieve happiness. 

The reason we're always on the quest for such happiness, instead of being completely fulfilled, is simply because our negative emotions, thoughts and feelings are significantly more consuming than positive.  

So, when it feels like the crap in your life always overtakes the good, it's because it has a head start!  It cheats!  

I agree (but negatively).yell

Wellness

Math Haters Beware: Some simple but crazy math appears briefly in the next part of this article. 

You may have heard about the 80/20 rule.  When trying to eat right, live healthy and feel better, strive for 80% good and 20% bad for long-term success. 

Using the 3:1 ratio, we could easily recognize the negative impact 20% bad has on our wellness.  It's impact is equal to about 60% good (that's the "negative is more consuming" thing I'm using to make a point). 

You can work out, eat right and practice all the mind altering crap you want, but smoke a few cigarettes or drink too much and you're literally damaging your body far beyond the benefits of a good work-out.  But, what the hell, let's do it anyway.  As long as we can keep that 20% good surplus, we're probably gonna survive our own hooey.  

Confused?   Well, the good news is that 80% of this article has no math! 

Important equation to the riddle of life 

Okay it's just for fun and really means just don't overdo the bad stuff in your life, capeesh?

100% Life

80% good and 20% bad (but 20% bad feels worse than just 20% bad, like three times worse)

20% bad x 3 = 60% (20% bad feels more like 60%)

80% good minus 60% bad = 20% good overage if we stick to the rule 

This means good can conquer evil!  WHAT!?  

Disclaimer: One must stick to the 80/20 rule in order to achieve success and happiness. Not recommended for negative nellies, rude or stupid people and may cause bloating or over happiness.  This is not meant to be considered expert advice as good may actually be bad for one person and evil be just an expression of weird laughing to others.  Seek the advice of a trained hippy or work-a-holic for expert opinions in the "what's good, bad and just plain evil" in your world stuff.  Chocolate and ice cream have been linked to evil, but on most occasions necessary and been known to have good results in people's lives.  We could just keep disclaiming good, bad and evil, but we can't be sure if it would be a positive or negative effect in one's life.  

Okay, let's keep going.

Relationships

Ever notice how many times someone says, "I love you.", and after awhile you barely skip a beat, but someone says something mean or bad about you and you can't stop thinking about him or what he said all freaking day long? 

Negative stuff is so consuming and yet, no matter how much we all know it hurts us, we're drawn to our self-esteem killers like flies to honey (which really isn't good for flies, or is it?). 

BTW, bees are not attracted to honey, they are attracted to nectar and they produce honey.  But flies, well...flies are attracted to honey, yet half the population says, "..like bees to honey.", while the other half says, "..like flies to honey.".  

Do flies and bees matter in this article?

Yes! 

Please think about it before you proceed...

Now.  If you thought of the reason why a bee or a fly is not attracted to honey before you think of why the other would be - then I prove my fleeking point about negative nellyishishness!  We focus on the bad before the good.   Do I sound negative?   

Pop Culture

Years ago, television shows and movies were idyllic and pure.  Despite the attempt to keep a positive representation of how we should live, the truth came out.  Or, most-likely movie producers and media companies started making big money on telling it like it is, on the dark side. 

No more June Cleaver.  Instead, strong female characters were bitchy, smart, strong and sexy.   Male characters were strong, damaged, imperfect and angry.  Is that good?  Who knows?  But, it sells.  And I like it!

Am I making my point yet?  Ok, let's keep going..again. 

Hell is just a few paragraphs away. 

Would it be easier if I said this article is a round trip to hell and back?  It's kinda' like divorce, but that would be a negative way to look at hell.

Actions

If all the bad stuff wasn't so important to us, why on earth do we watch movies for 2 hours for the 5 minute climax which is usually something really ghastly, awful or depressing at the end? 

Why read, watch, listen or surf the internet?  Are we looking for good things that are happening in the world?  Um, mostly no.

Maybe about 20% of the time, right?  The rest is all about depressing, awful, sad and terrible things.  ..or dresses that just look really bad on hot movie stars at the Oscars.

Are you like me?  ..gosh I hope not!

Maybe your negative stuff is a little different than mine, but if you think about it, you'll get the main idea (and maybe hate me for it, but you'll just be proving my point when you do). 

No matter what you do, where you live or who you're with, negativity is part of your positive freakin' life.   Negative stuff is all around you and you just gave it your support by reading this article.  (But don't feel bad, I just gave it my support by writing it!)

Hopefully it made you laugh a bit, forget about your real problems, realize your negative dark side would sell a lot of movie tickets.  You'll also know there's someone wackier than you or perhaps you'll think I'm a terrible person or worse a terrible writer.  Ugh!

Maybe this article succeeds if you just put on your negative thinking cap (which is usually where the greatest ideas and inspiration come from).  But, you could disagree.  

No problem, you can hate me and the more you do, the more my theory of bad takes over the world.  

"Ah, ha, hahaha", evil laugh, snide look, happy, not sure what to think of me, character of a divorced, middle class, bitch chick begins to develop as I begin to realize I may literally be able to take over the world. 

Wait. Does 'bitch chick' even sound right?

Anyway, in all honesty, a little negative banter can really wake you up sometimes!  So, when bad stuff happens and your heart gets racing, face turns red 'cause some goofball found a way into your life; just give 'em the evil eyes and do this...

"Ah, ha, hahaha", evil laugh, snide look, happy, carefree, not sure what to think of you, character thing and really stick the look as you walk away thinking, "I'm a total bad*ss!"  

Then use your adrenaline to mow the yard, clean the house, finish your presentation for tomorrow, help the kids with homework, workout and watch a really good movie before falling fast asleep, day well done, "sugar plums dancing in your head"1 while you finally get a good night's rest, like you deserve.  

Then! ..you'll know how to master this whole 'riddle of life' equation.  Einstein theorists be warned!  Bitch chicks are gonna take over the world and then, who needs hell, 'cause, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"2.

Caution, this article might have offended positive people.  But, who cares!  We da' boss, bitch...chick! 

Mic Drop wink


OurDMK.com

1Adapted from a line from Clement C. Moore's poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas, 1823, also known "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

2Inferred quote based on the line, "Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.", from the 1697 play, "The morning bride", by English playwright and poet William Congreve.


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