It’s not easy getting old.   Once we reach 30, 40 or 50 it feels like a major milestone compared to years past.  Most of us would like to go back a decade and be that age once again.   Yet, we still struggle to appreciate our current age, knowing that one day we'll wish we were this age again.  Self-esteem is much like that.

Sometimes our ability to feel good about ourselves doesn’t improve based on our perspective.  We are affected by what bothers us far more than those positive qualities about ourselves.  This is because people gravitate towards negative thoughts, fears and emotions more so than the positive ones.  

Basically, it means we naturally value the bad more than we value the good.

Why when we feel good, can we always find bad?

When we see a good quality or "normal" feature by today's social standards, we see no reason to change.  We won't feel judged, shunned or embarrassed by being normal.   The only problem is that when we finally reach "normal", we suddenly feel the need to find problems about ourselves.  The constant need to "perfect" ourselves.  We could always lose a few pounds, make more money, have whiter teeth.  And when we accomplish this, we'll find more.

We focus on bad stuff because it requires action to fix it; we usually think, ponder and obsess far too long before we actually do anything about it.

When we see something wrong with us, we generally feel as if we need to do something to fix it.  But, fixing something takes action, time, money and/or dedication.  It's much easier to just complain about it, obsess over it or blame others.   So, it naturally consumes us much longer than it usually takes to actually just fix it and forget it. 

The longer we think about it, the more we begin to feel the scrutiny of others.  Unfortunately, usually we feel judged far more than people actually judge us. If they do gossip, it's usually to protect themselves from their own insecurities or self-doubts.

Regardless, we easily find ourselves in a negativity trap.  It can lead to low self-esteem, fear, anxiety and even a little of our own gossiping or blaming.

So, how do we combat this unfair relationship we have with our self-esteem?  

Doing nothing

..doesn’t work.  The worst you can do about your problems is nothing.  With such an unfair advantage you must develop a strategy to quit obsessing over what bothers you and either do something about it or let it go. 

It isn’t always right or fair.  But like mom always said, "Life isn’t fair!".  So, make sure you realize that when the normal precipitation in your life turns to a torrential downpour. You're going to have to add a lot of good into your life to overtake the bad.  Once you find the good things, don't let the bad stuff overshadow them or make you quit a positive activity or relationship in your life!  

Believe in your faith; develop high self-esteem

Your faith is a primary asset, useful in combating fears and problems that damage your self-esteem.   One of the major benefits of believing in something is that you believe in it. Wholly. The more you build upon your belief and remove doubts, the more you value it. 

In valuing it, it provides you strength, courage and wisdom because you know it to be true and good.  Believers rejoice; it's natural to want to share your faith with others so that they, too, can believe more and doubt less.  This fosters the ability to lead and leadership develops high self-esteem.  Believe in your God, your religion to believe in yourself.

Pray

Praying is like a free positive energy.  It not only develops your relationship with God; but it provides you an opportunity to expel your negativity.  You can pray for strength, the power to forgive or help someone.  Every prayer increases your desire for the power of goodness.  Simply put.  It makes you a better person.  

Add the power of goodness and lose the affect bad has over you!

Build your faith

Turning to something bad to cope with your problems is extremely easy.  It’s like falling.  You'll grab at anything in that split second to break your fall or stop yourself from falling.

Perhaps when times are so bad, looking to bad habits like drinking, smoking, overeating or thoughts of leaving or even suicide is an attempt to do just that. 

Your faith protects you

Building your faith through family, community, church, volunteering and friendships can provide a shield of positive energy around you, that if you fall, you'll have the right people, good activities and stronger faith to protect you.  So, how do you turn your faith into a superpower of positive energy?

Discovering, growing, connecting and accepting your faith and religion provides ongoing opportunity to build your "shield of faith".  Join the choir, go on a retreat, join a team, help others, start a prayer group, improve your health, garden, create something, learn something, make new friends. 

One of the best things you can do is to ask for help when you need it.  When people help others, it provides positive energy.  Allow them to experience the power of good by accepting help when you need it! 

Believe your faith will protect you, guide you and provide for you when you need it to the most.   

Understand your religion as you understand yourself

Upon building your faith, you will naturally build connections between your religion and your life.  Developing these connections is the opportunity to understand positive qualities about yourself and religion.  The more connections with good activities and people you make, the stronger your faith becomes.  This not only increases it's value in your life; it also provides the necessary amount of positive energy to combat those negative slumps.

All of you

Now that you have allowed your faith and God to make a difference through the discovery of your gifts, do not fail to use these gifts to get you to a happier, healthier you!  Sing, dance, play, help, give and keep your life moving forward!  

Never stop reaching more milestones with your religion and faith.  Always allow yourself the opportunity to be supported by this faith and to give back as a constant effort to experience and provide the power of pure love!

-OurDMK.com

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