While nobody expects your new happy life to start right away, the truth is that the time you spend grieving, hurting, blaming and laying around is literally only hurting you.  The longer you stay "on hold" before starting over, the more time your loss is taking from you.

One problem is that your new life is still being compared to your old life. But you’re not giving your new life a chance to really compete. 

Add good while getting through the bad

Most of us take some time to get through the rough patch following a divorce, but at some point, we must add positive actions to move forward with the least amount of life damage.  Many of us already suffered enough damage while coping with a bad marriage.  Now, we should repair and rebuild.

Of course, the time since your divorce hasn’t been great.  But, everyday you create good memories living a new active lifestyle is a victory.  Not because you need to challenge this new time against the past (good times and bad), but because the past will not be the focus of your life anymore.  It should be a resource for wisdom, experience and good memories that support a happier, healthier life for you and your family.

Run your life a like a multi-billion dollar company

If you were running a multi-billion dollar company, how would you fix problems associated with less revenue and more expenditures?  Would you just worry about it all night and keep yourself up thinking about how bad things are going?  Would you complain all day about your terrible situation?  Would you ignore it?  No. 

Why?  Because it's a multi-billion dollar company? Probably.

Because your shareholders expect positive trends?  Maybe.

Because the company you lead is important?  Bingo.

But, your life is important.  It's worth more than billions of dollars to you.  You're the only person who should be in charge of it.  You're responsible for your life, your happiness and success.  

How much is your life worth?

If someone offered you (not your family or anyone but you) a billion dollars in exchange for your life, would you sell it?  No.

Because you wouldn't be alive to spend the money.   Life is priceless.  Your life is invaluable.  It's worth more than billions of dollars.  Act like it.  Manage it.  You're the most important shareholder of your life.  Expect results.  Don't waste anymore of your time festering, worrying or whining over things that can't be changed.  Fix your life by letting go of the bad stuff and moving forward to achieve the good.  

Do your problems cloud your self-worth?

Don't let your problems devalue your life.  You're the only buyer and seller.  You create self-value based on your happiness.  When you let your problems distort your confidence and impede your goals, you begin to feel life is boring and uninteresting.  You lose your natural curiosity and willingness to accomplish tasks, achieve success and face challenges with zeal instead of fear.   

You can't expect life to produce your happiness.   Instead, set goals and take action to provide the opportunities to succeed.  Find what brings you joy and the life you really want. 

You can't get going until you recognize your worth

Would you get frustrated with your billion dollar company because you had no earnings?  Maybe you would be frustrated for a bit.  But, ultimately, the only thing you could do to maintain it's worth would be to get customers for your goods and services and decrease your expenses. 

Decrease your expenses

If your life seems devalued lately it's because you're in the, "frustrated for a bit" stage.  Blame, anger, guilt and sadness are front and center.  They are the expenses that need to be reduced.

Increase your sales

Develop an action plan to improve your situation like your life depends on it.  Consider your goods and services as your strengths and talents and your sales are your accomplishments and success. 

Become your best salesperson.  You need to believe in your company and what you're selling!  Believe in yourself, your abilities and potential. 

Now, value your life like you know its worth more than money, more than a multi-billion dollar company and more than you've been giving it.

No more "woulda, shoulda, coulda".  Do more.  Experience more.  Sell yourself on positive activities, learning and exploration. Create something, help someone and realize the value of leading an invaluable, indispensable, "YOU".

Now, get the #%@! off the couch!