DMK THINKING CAP
Tomorrow when you wake up, what will you do?
A. Complain about your problems
B. Solve them
C. Worry and fester
D. Do nothing about them
This is not a trick question.
DMK Health Fact
According to research from the University of Chicago, social isolation and loneliness contributes to restlessness and sleep disruptions even if the individual was not aware of it. Loneliness has also been associated with high blood pressure, heart disease and depression. Source: www.simplemost.com
Not Loving Divorce?
Consider this DMK Editorial Selected "Divorce Recovery Handbook" for help!
DMK Q & A
Everyone has advice and none of it feels right to me.
It's okay to politely let well meaning friends and family know that you are working through the aftermath of the divorce and that while you appreciate all the advice, you would rather just spend quality time with each of them without talking about the divorce, your former spouse or your situation. If you refer to resources like books, sites and support groups, take advice that helps and just disregard what doesn't. There is no steadfast answer to "recovery following divorce".
My friends are constantly trying to set me up with someone new.
If you are not ready for a relationship, be firm in letting them know you are not ready to date. Most just want to help when they see their friend is feeling down. But, an unwanted new relationship will usually not start or end well for obvious reasons. Let your friends know that you will come to them if you would like to be fixed up with anyone and to give it a rest until then.
My ex has been asking me out and I'm confused about what to do.
You probably got divorced for good reason. You went through the emotional turmoil of a failed marriage, hired lawyer(s) and divided your lives in half. When this happens it can make each of you feel pretty lousy. It's not uncommon to look at the few remaining fragments of your relationship as a shining light following a dark year or two. If it's more than that and you feel similar feelings, then you may want to attend couples counseling and have a professional help you two decide if the relationship is salvageable. Otherwise, let your former spouse know that you want both of you to have the best chance at a happy life and that will be best achieved without being together.
I'm still really angry and bitter despite a reasonable amount of time passing since the divorce.
Everyone gets through each stage of divorce differently. There are some circumstances in your divorce, marriage, lifestyle and personality that can provide reasons why you may still feel like you do. It's very possible that you are spending too much time thinking about the negative aspects of the divorce or your ex. After all, most people are drawn to the negative things in their life more than the positive.
When your former spouse comes up in your head, get engaged in a consuming activity that will keep you focused on moving forward in your life. The more these negative thoughts come up in your head, the more often you start a self-improvement activity. The more you improve, the more you can thank your ex for your new positive outlook.
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