It should come as no surprise that the combined creative genius here at DMK has come up with yet another, incredibly interesting, and might we say, delicious idea to help our readers get through possibly one of the hardest holidays following a breakup.
Valentine's Day is just plain difficult during and after a divorce. But luckily, we have a two-tier recipe for a cookie sweet enough to eat anytime of the year but specifically designed to help you get through this month of love without a sweetheart.
Super easy, hot and chewy Valentine chocolata' chipa' cookie recipe
Okay, the recipe is actually pretty simple even if the name is too long, awkward and at times meaningless - kinda' like the average American divorce.
Wine and cookies? Um. Ya!
I wish I could say we came about this idea at a professional roundtable discussion for our February featured article. But instead, following a girl's night in with wine and cookies (yes, you heard that right) a few of us realized how a simple chocolate chip cookie recipe could actually be a recipe for guilt-free happiness during this season of love, simultaneous to a time of love gone bad.
While I openly admit the wine may have had something to do with this unusual, initial comparison, the next day we all agreed the idea still had merit. Wonky merit, but worth sharing just the same!
One hot cookie!
One specific chocolate chip cookie seemed to fit the description of a recipe for happiness (just on taste alone).
But the exact recipe was not immediately provided for my article, which meant eating countless cookies until I finally figured it out (much like that of Phoebe's grandma's super-secret chocolate chip cookie recipe on that episode of Friends). Please tell me you know that one and hence the recipe.
One Sweet Valentine Chocolata' Chipa Cookie
Ingredients:
2 1/4 c. white unbleached flour and 2 composition books with lined, unbleached paper
1 tsp. salt and a bath salt (not for smoking)
1 tsp. baking soda and a baked cookie with a soda pop...or milk, Red Bull® or (my personal favorite) wine
3/4 c. brown sugar and an exfoliating sugar body scrub
3/4 c. white sugar and a white sand beach or walking trail
2 eggs and 2 eggs whites
1 tsp. vanilla extract and natural oil essence
1 bag of NESTLE® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels and one small bag of potting soil
1 cup of soft butter and a jar of body butter
1/4 of a small bottle of sprinkles and a small bag of herb seeds
Needed to prepare:
1 large mixing bowl and one fancy serving plate for cookies
1 medium cookie sheet and one medium clay pot or small window planter tray/kit
1 box of parchment paper or a silicone liner for your baking sheet and 1 sweet and fancy boxed stationary set
Super simple cookies
If you didn't guess yet, the cookie picked for this recipe was partly mine and partly Nestle® Toll House®. But mostly mine cause I added sprinkles and do something totally radical for their preparation. Now get ready, cause you're gonna be totally impressed!
Nestle® suggests you separate all the dry and wet ingredients. They suggest you preheat the oven. You may think you need an electric mixer to mix the wet ingredients until creamy. Then you're technically supposed to add one egg at a time and beat thoroughly after each one before gradually adding flour, yada, yada, yada.
No way. Not my cookie. I'm a single mom with no time for that!
Here's what I do.
Cookies are easy.
Leave the butter out for 30 minutes before you get started (or microwave for 20 seconds). Throw it all in a bowl (just the stuff in bold, before the "and" in each ingredient listed above).
Mix it with a big fork or whatever. Don't overmix but do your best to evenly combine the ingredients.
Don't overthink it. When you add things like salt, sprinkles and baking soda (sprinkle don't pour in one spot). Somehow Nestle® thinks we don't know how to evenly salt and sprinkle our cookies. DUH!
Separate the chunky cookie dough into 12-18 globs on the lined cookie sheet (use two layers of parchment paper if not using silicone mats). Don't make the cookies smooth (like cookie balls). They should look chunky, messy and uneven around the edges. Just make the amount of dough in each cookie about the same. I use an ice cream scoop.
Turn on the oven at 350 degrees and throw 'em on in (middle or top shelf). No need to drop mid-flight. Just cook for 8-10 minutes. Use a mitt and take them out of the oven. Modestly drop the cookie sheet on top of stove to drop the cookie a bit if you like them chewy. If you like them cakey, don't drop, just cool.
NOW! The second-best part of this recipe!
After the "and" in each ingredient listed there is a second ingredient listed in pink. Let's get started!
Start two journals. One to write every single angry, blamey, jealous, sad, pathetic thought or sentiment about anything and anyone you want. Keep private and in very a safe place. It should be for your eyes only as it doesn't always represent your truest feelings, rather a safe place to vent through your emotions (which often skews your actual feelings).
This journal should be due for self-destruct next Valentine's Day (as in it should find its way in a trash can or firepit) upon which time you can choose whether you would like to repurchase another blank b*tching book for all your b*tching pleasure or not. Your choice and fine either way!
The other journal is a personal memoir. One where good days and bad are recorded, but eloquently and with all the wisdom and depth you can muster up. It should still be in your own simple words and where your personality is the flavor of the memoir!
Write it with the idea that you will one day leave it to your children or loved ones and to be further passed on to future generations. Think of what you need to say and what you need to hear. Think of others who will one day read you and even if they never knew their great aunt, mother's friend or grandmother, they would understand you and feel a personal connection and inspiration.
Sometimes, that's all any of us need, empathy and a feeling that we are not alone. I would give anything to have a memoir from one of my beloved grandparents. While we were close when I was a young child, I think I would have a greater understanding of them and myself if I could now hear their words, thoughts and feelings about similar trials and tribulations as I face today!
Potting soil, herb seeds and clay pot. Your own little farm in a window! Open your bag of potting soil and fill a little over 3/4 of your clay pot. Evenly pour seeds. Top off with soil and water.
You know where this is going right? Right into your meals in about 1 month. But, first in a kitchen window with plenty of sunshine. Begin growing sustenance for your future. Metaphor? You better believe it is. Think of all the ways you can begin to grow new things in your life that feed your mind, body and soul!
Walk along a sandy beach. Of course, we don't all have one of those around. If not, just get outside. The only condition is to find some green space or natural environment. Take a walk for 60 minutes (unless medically inhibited). Don't let the cold weather stop you. Get outside, bundle up. Snow? No problem. Grab a sled.
Two egg whites in a bowl makes for the best facial mask ever! Just separate your egg whites and stir a bit with a fork. Gently wash your face and apply egg wash liberally to your entire face (avoiding eyes). It makes for a perfect astringent and tightens pores better than the most expensive masks on the market. Your face will feel really funny as it dries. No worries. After about 8 minutes gently wash it off your face. Do this once every 10-14 days and your face will be tighter and clearer! A small breakout may occur at first due to the mask pulling impurities out of your pores (this is normal for many masks and facials).
Bath salts? Yep! Much better than a boring bubble bath (though you can technically have both). Seriously, they have these wonderful effervescent and aromatic salts available at any dollar store. Lavendar Epsom® salts are my personal favorite. They will relax your muscles and clear your mind. They are the perfect precursor to your chocolata' chipa' cookie and soda pop.
Exfoliate. Don't skimp. Buy the good stuff or make it yourself. Just a little sugar, olive oil and lemon juice makes a wonderful, fragrant body scrub. After a week your shoulders will be shiny- legs, arms and neck dewy, fresh and supple. Your skin is an organ and needs detoxing! It's possibly the easiest thing you can do as a noticeable self-renewal technique!
Dab some essential oil behind your ears and on your wrists and neck before bed. Set the mood for total self-pampering. Relax. Release your tension, fears and negative energy. While you're at it, make a cup of tea, glass of wine or sweet drink.
Slather that butter! After all, you're one, hot cookie too! Body Butter must be slathered all over your body after your salty, bubble bath. Before you towel off and after. Slop it on! Butter. Butter. Butter.
Um. A cookie and a soda pop please! The cookies are warm. Soda pop is unhealthy and sweet. Oh ya! This is a perfect! No health gurus please! You have a broken heart that needs healing and healthy garbage won't help on cookie day! Cookie days are designed for unhealthy garbage only! Trust me. That's why your 60-minute walk is part of this plan. So, no worries about fat and calories! I got ya' girl!
Plate your warm, chewy cookies
Make sure your little clay pot of life is in the right window as a symbol of your mind being set on positive growth today for a better, more flavorful tomorrow. Then, carefully arrange those yummy cookies (as many as you want) on your fancy plate.
Until then...sweet, sweet cookies!
Pour a glass of soda, milk, wine, tea or whatever. Crawl into bed or favorite comfy chair, setting your warm cookies and drink nearby on your nightstand or end table.
From your toned body following your refreshing walk to your dewy, polished skin, aromatized with essential oils, it's time to pig out on said cookies. You're gonna need your energy! You have a lot of writing to do.
Let the writing begin!
While chomping cookies, choose whether to start writing your famously, eloquent memoir in one book or venting about your ex in the other.
You could also begin your correspondence with your daughters, mothers, sisters and friends with your new stationary set! Send them each a classy, sassy, fancy Valentine so that they can receive one, welcome piece of mail before their hectic day, filled with bills and household obligations overtake them. Your correspondence could even include this little recipe. It doesn't need to be long, detailed or too serious. Just a sweet note that says, "I love you chick!"
Now, keep devouring that damn cookie and then another. Eat until your plate is empty and when all you have left is crumbs. Don't think about all the calories you consumed. Think about it like a bunch of negative divorce energy extinguished. Gone. One enjoyable bite after the other.
This is one super easy, hot and chewy Valentine chocolata' chipa' cookie recipe just for you! And we give you permission to do this kind of pampering every single day this month. Consider it our Valentine to you!
Guilt free happiness. Hmm. Finally!
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