Resources- DivorceMeKnot.com

2023 Separation Problems Page

DIVORCE FACT The following contribute to a higher risk for divorce: low income, low education level, no religion, no children, being a child with divorced parents and marrying at a young age.

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DMK QUOTE

"I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas Edison, 2/11/1847 to 10/13/1931

An inventor and businessman who has been described as America's greatest inventor. He is credited for 1,093 patents in his lifetime.

It goes to show that the greatest achievements will also produce a great deal of "ways that will not work". It's what you do after your mistakes that determines if your life will be a success or a failure.

Are you stressed, worried, frustrated?

Books About Surviving Separation

Separation Survival Tips

1. Establish goals of the separation such as time to improve the marriage or a period of time to determine divorce plans.

2. Keep communication with your separated spouse limited until you both can discuss your goals of the separation without arguing .

3. Think carefully before you respond to communication from your spouse to avoid regretful threats or escalated responses that lead towards a non-productive or bad direction you both wish to avoid.

4. Speak with a counselor or someone who can help you maintain a clear perspective and deal with the emotional aspects of separation.

5. Stay healthy but don't put too much pressure on yourself to "get healthy". Establish a good outlook to help you cope with this difficult time but don't do try to quit all bad habits, start a ton of good ones and basically change everything about yourself. It can backfire and send you into a freefall.

6. Avoid sharing too much personal information in your social circles about your circumstances and spouse. It can feed gossip about both of you in your sphere of friends and family. Unfortunately, divorce is a huge talking point in all gossip-happy circles.

7. Avoid dating or sexual relationships until your divorce is final. It will avoid emotional retaliation that could breakdown communication with your spouse regarding the settlement.

8. Avoid sex with your spouse to avoid misunderstandings unless you both are focused on recovering the marriage.

9. Keep yourself busy when your kids are gone or during times your formerly spent with your spouse. A second job, hobby or some classes at the community college are all great ways to improve self-esteem and keep your mind off your worries about the separation.

10. If your plans are to eventually divorce, this is the time to start gathering all necessary paperwork such as income and asset information, tax returns, insurance policies, etc.

Things to ask an attorney

1. What are the types of divorce offered in our state?

2. Is there a mandated separation period before we can get divorced? If so, how long?

3. Does the separation need to be recorded or filed in the courts to be recognized as a legal separation period?

4. Based on different types of divorce offered in my state, what is the typical duration and what is your experience and success rate with each type of divorce?

5. Do you have any conflicts of interest or have you met or do you know my spouse?

6. If my case goes to court; tell me about your courtroom experience and success winning cases that have been litigated.

7. Based on the available options in my state and the circumstances of my case, what strategy would you recommend to obtain the best settlement? What is the likely outcome based on your recommendation and what are the fees and expenses I can expect.

8. Do you recommend a legal separation agreement to establish support, living arrangements and other details while my spouse and I are awaiting our divorce?

9. Will you do the majority of the work on my case or will there be other professionals within your firm that will be working on it? If so, will you remain my primary contact or will I be communicating with the other associates or paralegals, as well? Is the cost the same when I am communicating with them or when they do the work on my case?

10. Do you recommend I hire any other professionals such as a forensic accountant, private investigator, tax attorney, expert psychologist? If you hire them, how would you charge me for their services?