Date night experiences for most married couples can really fall short.  Truth be told, date night for my ex-husband and I included Red Lobster, lobster with extra butter and a trip to The Home Depot for dessert (dessert not included). Every single date.

Well, honestly there weren’t that many.  Our reason was like many couples: lots of kids, no time and a tight budget.   We both enjoyed working on our home, so making The Home Depot part of our dates seemed okay at the time. 

However, we're divorced, so it clearly had its flaws even if neither of us could recognize them at the time or come up with some better ideas.  

So, what makes a great date night?  If you've been married for a number of years it may not surprise you to know that husbands and wives answers may differ greatly. This actually brings about the realization that the comfort a couple shares when being themselves can also be detrimental to the longevity of a good marriage and their individual happiness.  After all, I’m sure many spouses do things while married they wouldn’t have dreamed of doing when they were dating.

Somehow, we devalue our relationship and our spouse’s individual taste, interests and opinions when we just accept each other because it makes it easier to get along.  Many marriages can last a long time that way.  But most people really can't live that way.  

To actually serve the marriage, we must first satisfy each other and our own individual spirit.  We should strive to make every date night one that builds intrigue and desire.  It should be very little about everyday and a lot about someday.  And someday should start with your next date.

Dating your spouse can make the date super ordinary or super wild.  Your date is with someone with whom you feel very comfortable and there should be no reason to hold back.  Make the night exciting and fun.  Ya, it’s nice just being with your spouse, but the night should be more than nice!  Try something new that you think will get an amazing response.  It should always end with love making, when possible.  

Here are some top contenders for great date nights.  Mix and match as you like.  A little bit of this and a lot of that goes a long way.

Unique restaurants and bars 

Rooftop anything, dive bars, outdoor seating, unique locations and local mom and pops.  Try a new place every date.

Wine country

B&B after a day at the wineries.  Walk, talk, drink and love.  This is a great romantic date that's a perfect venue to bring back passion back to your marriage.

It's tuff to beat a train

If you don’t ride the train frequently, take a train to a neighboring city.  Dine and stay overnight.  Make the get away about really getting away from it all!  Talk about things you two never talk about, wear what you never wear and try some new cuisine.

Hot car

Rent a really cool sports car, surprise your spouse at work with a ride home, flowers and chocolates before a night on the town. Spare no expense and have fun!

Shall we dine and smother ourselves in the finer things in life?

Culture, fine dining and hot threads.  Dress up for something exciting and culturally stimulating.  An art exhibit that gets you talking to each other about your passions.  Music and dance-  Symphony or museum-  Just make sure it's something that will keep you and your spouse's interest through the night.  


Need I say more.

Fly away to the middle of nowhere 

Fly away from your everyday relationship and get lost in the middle of nowhere.  Who better to lose yourself with than your spouse?

A surprise flight to nowhere is a perfect DIY couple's retreat.  Make it a journey not a destination.  It can be a 30 min flight to a city you would never go otherwise.  Plan a memorable dinner and accommodations, but the focus should be on each other.  Spend the night talking, laughing and love making. The purpose is to get away from it all and find what you didn't know your marriage was missing!

A chauffeured limo

A limo and a night on the town.   You'll want to have several destinations for this evening with a limo stocked with all the comforts of the evening.  A perfect ending would be a honeymoon suite preferably at the same hotel as when you married.

Romance is valuable and hardly costs anything

Low budget.  No problem.  How about a local bookstore and a walk to a diner or eatery.  Talk about some of your interests and get a good conversation started. Go home and sit under the stars and start a small bonfire.  Tiki torches and wine are nice too.  Think like a romantic and read something to your spouse that's erotic and poetic.  

Rules and suggestions....

The key is to let your imagination go wild without planning the impossible or anything illegal.  Keep the intrigue, fun, excitement and connection with your spouse all night.  Never do anything on your date night that compromise your marriage.  Don’t drink too much.  Drinking should compliment your dating experience not overtake it.  If your spouse hates one thing or another, don’t do it!  

Think like the opposite sex a bit.  Always incorporate your spouses perspective into the plan.  Remember, the night is also about making your spouse feel special, valued and considered in your plans.  If you're more reserved than your spouse, you must spice the night up from your typical date night.  If you're the wild one, you may want to slow the night down with a bit more romance and less time on the town.

You can do this!  Just remember, if you get to dessert and you're not at The Home Depot you're probably doing alright!


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