We wake up and go.  We work and work, then go home and work.  We feed, talk and spend time with our family.  Then we work-out, clean up and try to sleep.  But, we can't.  We worry and fester about work and family.  Then we wake up after less than the recommended 7-8 hours and go to work.

Every year we strive to succeed and every year our definition of success is a little less clear.   We know what we want, but after awhile, we just aren't too sure why we want it.  

Note to self.  Life isn't perfect and neither are you.  

We wanted the perfect spouse, house and kids.  We wanted the education, career and friends.  Our religion and faith would be ever present and rarely doubted. Except for dignified wrinkles, our bodies would be unaltered by the hands of time.  We would always make time to have our greying hair perfectly cloaked with the perfect shade of Auburn No. 5 by our stylist, Veronique at Spa De Jour de Fantaisie.

Reality never really jumps out in front of us before we start to see the little fissures in our plan.  But, we just keep going because, the more we stop to examine why our life seems to be a little less vibrant, the sky a little greyer and the neighbors grass a little greener, the worse we feel.  So, we wake up and go.  We work and work and work.  We feed, clean and try to sleep.  

When we realize life can get worse.

Then, finally, life happens.  Our eyes wide open, no time for fear, rational thought or clarity despite the enormity of what is happening.  The train chasing down the tracks is right in front of us.  We are awakened in as quick a flash as the train is gone.  It’s over.  Marriage.  Family.  Plans.  The dark night is still and clear.  Our sight clouded by reasonable uncertainty while an unreasonable dissolution is making it hard to find our way back home.  

At some point we realized we really never arrived home.  And while we finally recognized the reason we struggled to find our way home to our comfortable life is that we may not have actually been home for years before that eye opening experience.  We were simply going though the motions of life, but not really living in it.

But wait...life is about to get so much more interesting.

While the divorce and marriage problems really forced us to formerly face what was happening or not happening in our life, it was the journey home that presented the discovery of a lifetime.

When was the last time you really had time to be yourself?  Laugh, cry and just be you.  When did you get to not smile when life really sucked.  When did you talk with someone and really let your defenses down and say what you really wanted to say.  A time when you could be a bit immature and really not worry about what anyone was thinking?  You would put yourself first.  When did you leave the dishes in the damn sink and enjoy some time talking with someone you really never knew, do something you never really do or go somewhere you never really go?  

Maybe you would just sit in the old chair outside in the backyard where the exotic plants never grew and just enjoy the nice evening breeze.  You would accept your garden without all the finer things and finally laugh about everything that really never was anything...important.  It's the time you would finally let go of all the perfect plans and expectations of what we are all supposed to be.  -the perfect grammar, the clean car and the "I'm o.k., your o.k." attitude-

It is perfectly alright if you're not o.k. sometimes.  Accept that life is meant to be imperfect and it's imperfections will independently present themselves like a mirror to your own imperfections.  Realize what your life gives you is much of what you give it, good or bad.   Sometimes we learn more from the bad times and gain greater perspective when those trains rush past us and wake us from our slumber.  Somehow, we sleep better once we are fully awake, completing our journey to the place where our heart, home & life can really grow.  It's the journey to that little garden with an old patio chair, a glass of whatever wakes your spirit and a grassy mixed wild flower garden.  It says, "You found me."  



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