Welcome to the 2021 DMK Marriage Workshop    

Marriage Saving Ideas  |  Tips  |  Stories  |  Resources

Marriage Saving Tip: Every spouse needs to feel more important than his/her spouse's friends, job, family, sports and hobbies.

Marriage Saving Tip: While each spouse should demonstrate strength, courage and determination in the world, it's okay to be vulnerable to each other.

Q. Jealous Husband 

My husband is jealous of my male co-worker.  I told him I am not interested in any other person but him, but he still brings it up.  At first I thought it was cute that he was jealous, but now I can't even talk about work or my co-worker without him making a rude comment. I like my job and don't want to leave.  My co-worker is also a friend and don't want to lose him either.  What can I do to make the situation go away?  

A. Experienced Wife Opinion

It's important to recognize the exact reasons your spouse is jealous.  Despite your co-worker being only a friend, your spouse may feel threatened for reasons other than fear of an "adulterous relationship".  If you talk about your friend and the time you spend with one another, your spouse may simply want to share a similar relationship with you.  You should reassure your spouse that your friend is not a threat, but that you do value the friendship and your job a great deal and have no plans to change.  When your husband is rude, you should let him know you won't tolerate that behavior and that if he wants you to consider his feelings he should voice his opinions with respect for you, your job and your friend.  

A. Experienced Husband Opinion

A long marriage includes much sacrifices and compromise.  You both need to bend a bit on this situation.  Your spouse should always be more important than a friend or a job.  It's possible your spouse may sense something about your friends intentions indicating a relationship that is heading towards more than a friendship. While this may not be in any way what you think or feel, you and your friends intentions may not be the same.

However, quitting a job over unfounded jealousy is unnecessary and your spouse should understand that.   He could just be an insecure husband who needs to be reminded that his wife is free to choose her friends and place of employment.  Either way, both need to be empathetic and patient with one another.

Regarding your comment that you wanted the situation to go away, it may come down to a picking your battles scenario.  Choosing to reduce time spent with or talking about a friend may be worth saving a marriage if it get's to a point of "him or me".  Before that happens though, a marriage counselor may be helpful. 

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