Welcome to the 2021 DMK Marriage Workshop    

Marriage Saving Ideas  |  Tips  |  Stories  |  Resources

Marriage Saving Tip: Every spouse needs to feel more important than his/her spouse's friends, job, family, sports and hobbies.

Marriage Saving Tip: While each spouse should demonstrate strength, courage and determination in the world, it's okay to be vulnerable to each other.

My husband was gone on a work trip and I was at home with our three kids.  We have two cars, but my husband took his in to get a repair before he left.  He took an Uber to the airport so that I didn't have to get up early and take him.  The weirdest thing happened.

He left on a Tuesday and on Wednesday the service shop called to let me know that the car was ready to be picked up.  I had to work downtown that day and decided I would Uber from work to pick up the car drive it home and Uber back to work from there at lunch.  

My Uber driver was a funny older guy who was super friendly and a bit goofy.  He talked about his dog, his wife and his strange décor in his car.  He had pictures of his family and decorated the dash like it was his desk.  A little cluttered and a bit weird, but I liked it.  He was really easy to talk to and we got on the subject of my day and what I had planned.  I told him my husband was out of town at some point in the conversation.  

He brought up this guy who he drove to the airport the day before.  I didn't think anything of it since I'm sure drivers take a lot of people to the airport.  Then he started talking about how this guy said how hard it was to leave his wife and family every week.  That he had an offer to work for a friend who would allow him to travel less but the job paid less also.  He felt like he would let his wife down by accepting an offer like that and couldn't decide if he should even bring it up.  I started to drift out of the conversation for a moment thinking about what I would say if my husband had such an offer.  I started to think that such an offer would be exciting.  I would like to put a little more into my career too but have always provided a supportive role since my husband traveled so much.  As the conversation and ride came to an end I thanked Larry and went about my day.

My husband returned on Thursday and I picked him up from the airport.  On the ride home I told him I picked up his car on Wednesday.  As we came to a stoplight he leaned over and gave me a kiss.  He looked tired and in a delirious kind of way he said, "You'd make a really good Uber driver baby".  

"Hmm." I started, but before I could say a word, he leaned back in his seat.

"But, I wouldn't want to put Larry out of a job or anything."  He closed his eyes and started to rest.  My eyes wide open and mind racing I immediately realized who Larry was talking about.  Should I just ask him about his offer.  Should I wait?  What if he doesn't really want the job?

By the next morning, I was committed to tell my husband about our shared Uber experience.  I wasn't really upset with Larry.  He wasn't really sharing anything real personal, only that work travel is hard on families.  But, I didn't want my husband to feel as if I knew something he wasn't really wanting to share with me.  We both supported each other's career decisions and that his was primary since he earned more.

My husband made it easy on me.  He told me that Larry told him he should tell me something.  Had I not spoken to Larry myself I would have been really freaking out, but I just smiled and said, "Oh?"  I too shared with him my Uber drive to get his car and that I didn't for one minute in the ride think Larry was talking about him since I ordered the Uber clear across town.  We laughed and both agreed Larry deserved 5 stars for friendly conversation and good advice.  We also decided my husband should take the offer and that I would go back to work full-time so that we can share income and household stuff together.  It's a small world even in a big city!