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Ways to wake up your social life

Divorce can be one big lonely "sadfest" that robs us of our normal social selves.  It can easily turn us into couch potatoes or worse... yogi's!  Ok, as it is, yoga is actually pretty good and if you haven't had a Netflix® binge watching weekend, then you simply haven't lived the dream.

But, once you meditate, pose, stretch, veg, cry, laugh - then overcome your boredom with "Pottery for Dummies", you may want to consider getting back to the land of the living.  

Countdown to your wake up call

10. Get familiar with social media.

If you haven't signed up for one or more social media sites, it might be time.  Consider, Facebook® to stay in contact with friends, find deals and news (mostly real).  Pinterest® for ideas, recipes, style inspiration, home projects- Instagram® for sharing pictures, videos and messages- LinkedIn® for career and professional networking and Meetup® for local groups and people who share similar interests and hobbies.

9. Update your look. 

Confidence to meet others, starts with you.  Any changes should still be your style, but in today's fashion and look.  Ask friends and stylists for opinions, but the ultimate changes should be yours to make.  It doesn't need to be a drastic change.   Try something slightly outside your comfort level in order to really experience a noticeable difference in how you look and feel.  Warning!  The new look may freak you out a bit.  But don't let that stop you!  In fact, take a before picture.  Wait a month, then look at it.  Most often, after the old you is only a picture of the past, you will wonder why you kept your look the same for so many years.  Use it as inspiration to diminish other fears of reasonable changes in your life.

8. Join a gym, take a Pilates® or yoga class

Sometimes the best social therapy is taking care of your mind, body and soul.  Cardio, stretching, meditating and strength building is just the beginning.  It helps to be around others who have similar goals and interests.  Smaller classes will give you an opportunity to socialize with your peers.  Larger gyms provide a fun, uplifting atmosphere that generate a positive social attitude.  

7. Talk to old friends

Once you've established your social media presence you will likely catch you up with friends you haven't talked to in awhile.  Reach out to those with whom you had a good relationship.  Get a group of old friends together for an evening out.  Don't overdo conversations about tough times in your life.   Keep it fun and positive.  Follow-up later with friends of whom you still have a good connection.  

6. Join a meet-up is a site where you can form a group or meet others with similar interests.  In addition to the opportunity to meet new people, you can get involved in activities or meet-up groups formed based on topics you like.  Each meet-up group has it's own page to give prospective members an idea about what the meet-up is about and to keep members updated regarding future events.  Their pages are categorized by area and specify how to join if the meet-up group is accepting new members.

5. Join a dating site

There are many different dating sites that you can join.  You'll need to generate your profile which usually includes some pictures.  If you are ready to start dating, a dating site will give you an opportunity to meet others with similar interests.  If you make a connection, then set a time to meet in a safe, public location.   When meeting in-person, keep your topics of conversation positive and brief (limited divorce talk).   If he/she isn't right for, move on.  Life is too short to be with the wrong person.

4. Volunteer

One of the best ways to get out of the house and feel good about yourself is to help others.  Volunteer through your church, child's school, fundraisers, events or other organizations in your area.  Not only do you help others, but it gives you a chance to meet new people.  Read our DMK article, Get Out There and Volunteer for ideas and a list of organizations who seek volunteers or help with volunteer placement.

3. Part-time job or gig

If you don't currently have a job or your job is not socially dynamic, then you may want to get a part-time gig that provides more opportunities to interact with co-workers and customers.  You could get a job as a: bartender, outside sales person, independent sales person, event planner, event or brand ambassador, promotional team member, crafter, etc.  Check out gigs on craigslist and part-time jobs on

2. Deal with social anxiety

If you have the fear of being judged by others or suffer from feelings of inferiority or embarrassment in normal social settings, then you may have social anxiety.  This is a mental health condition that can be controlled through methods like medication and talk therapy with trained professionals.  Until you seek diagnosis and learn coping strategies for this problem you'll not achieve the greatest potential for your social success.

1. Community involvement

Your residential and professional communities are great places to meet others with shared interests.


Community activities, pools, barbeques and parties are fun places to meet new people.  Organize a street party to meet your neighbors, invite co-workers to a happy-hour and accept invitations to events you may have formerly ignored. 


To better your career and meet new people, consider professional networking events in your community or Chamber's of Commerce.  Look for leads groups and professional development classes to give you time to be in a social atmosphere with like-minded professionals.  It gives you a chance to promote yourself professionally, as well as an opportunity to work on your social skills.

The alarm is sounding...let's go!

It may not always be something from our list to get your social engine running, but do what it takes to keep active, healthy and happy.  Choose something to wake up your social life, release your fears and encourage a more active lifestyle.

Remember, we can make suggestions, but you are the only one who can make the decision to take action.   

Being social may not always feel comfortable at first; but, if you're reading this article, chances are you're ready to try new things like dating, volunteering or getting involved in community events. 

Stay true to your interests and self.  Develop your own courage to try new things, your way.


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